David Wynn Miller (or David-Wynn: Miller as he is known in his natural habitat) is not a name you’ve probably heard of before, unless you’re in the most rarefied of far-right conspiracy theorist circles. Miller is a tax-avoidance acolyte most closely associated with the “sovereign citizen” movement.

“Eccentric” is probably the most polite word one could muster up to describe Miller. (Miller has been, after all, included in the non-authoritative Encyclopedia of American Loons. His conspiracy theories have even gotten the attention of the Southern Poverty Leadership Conference.)

And who could blame them? Miller, the self-described “King of Hawaii” is also the pioneer of “Quantum-Math-Communications and Language” (modestly “Correct Language”) and “QUANTUM-LANGUAGE-PARSE-SYNTAX-GRAMMAR” (caps in the original), the ugly lovechild of natural language and the more precise synthetic languages that mathematicians and programmers use.

The above was sourced directly from Miller’s website.

“~15 FOR THESE FICTION-COMMUNICATION-MODIFICATION-PLEADINGS OF THE COURT-FIDUCIARIES ARE WITH AN ADVERB-VERB-COMMUNICATIONS AND WITH THE FICTION-SYNTAX-GRAMMAR-VOID-JURISDICTION OF THESE DRY-DOCK-MARITIME-VESSEL-BUILDINGS UNDER THE PORT-AUTHORITIES OF THE (UPU)UNIVERSAL-POSTAL-UNION-~1873-NEW-WORLD-ORDER OF THE FICTIONAL-WRITING WITH THE CREATION OF A FOREIGN-STATES WITHIN A STATE OR: PARTS OF YOUR HOME-STATE OR: COUNTRY. = CONSTRUCTIVE-TREASON UNDER A FOREIGN-FLAG-GUISE.”

Yeah, we know what you’re thinking. Just Google the guy. You’ll get an eyeful.

$11.5 Million “Judgment”

Miller’s latest confusing encounter with the legal system came when he attempted to register a million-dollar judgement from his fictitious postal court. U.S. District Judge Jeffrey Meyer struck down the registration of a $11.5 million judgment issued by “judge” David-Wynn: Miller. The postal court has been filing judgment after judgment and applying for registration in recent weeks, according to the ABA Journal.

Miller, who has a talent for molding history to suit his needs, told Judge Meyer that he “reopened” the federal court that had been established by Benjamin Franklin in 1775 and closed soon afterwards. Miller took control of the court – if that’s what you can call it – on December 21, 2012, the date the world was supposed to come to an end.

Judge Meyer wasn’t buying Miller’s version of facts or beliefs. The U.S. Postal Service does not have a court to hear mail fraud cases. “There is no basis to conclude that the purported judgment of the ‘Federal Postal Court’ arises from any legal authority at all. So far as I can tell, the ‘Federal Postal Court’ is a sham and no more the product of a fertile imagination.”

Related Resources:

  • Conn. Judges Deal With Flood of Filings From Bogus ‘Postal Court’ (Connecticut Law Tribune)
  • Atheists Sue Congress to Remove ‘In God We Trust’ From Currency (FindLaw’s Legally Weird)
  • NYC v. NaCl: City Sued Over Salt Warning Labels (FindLaw’s Legally Weird)
  • Mom Takes Kids to Exorcism, Loses Custody Rights (FindLaw’s Legally Weird)

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