“I Wish I Knew How to Quit Booze”

If horses dream, they probably see themselves sprinting down the home stretch and winning the Kentucky Derby as 50-to-1 long shots, as Mine That Bird did on Saturday. If they have nightmares, they’re probably about ending up like the two horses in Georgia that last week had to try to keep the jostling to a minimum, so that an evening’s worth of Pabst and corndogs didn’t end up in their manes.

Gregory Cooley and Jeffrey Owen of Tunnel Hill, Georgia were arrested last week and booked for driving under the influence after riding their horses on a highway while legally drunk, according to WTVC-Chattanooga. “Even their ticket shows the make of the ‘vehicle’ as a baymare and the style as a horse,” the news station reports.

The two men sold their horses shortly after paying about $900 each for their release from jail, according to WTVC, “because they say the only reason they had them in the first place was to ride them when they were too drunk to drive.” And somewhere, Jeff Foxworthy is scrambling to find a pen.

  • Men Arrested for ‘Riding’ Under the Influence (News Channel 9, Chattanooga, TN)
  • Men Sell Horses After Drinking & Riding Charge (WCPO.com)
  • The DUI Basics (FindLaw)
  • DUI Laws State-by-State (FindLaw)
  • AP/FindLaw News: Derby Winner Mine That Bird a Go for Preakness

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