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It’s standard lawyer (and law student) snobbery to joke about how a graduate of Thomas M. Cooley Law School is destined to be a fake lawyer, forever floundering in a pool of T14-sized debt with nothing more than a useless TTT education to show for it. Sadly enough, one Kelly Fulmer of Boone County, Kentucky took this one step further: He decided to play lawyer for nearly five years–even though he never completed his coursework at Cooley, much less passed the bar....

When the Panama Papers were released this week, promising to expose “politicians, criminals, and the rogue industry that hides their cash,” let’s say we weren’t surprised to see FIFA’s name pop up. FIFA, the world’s governing body for soccer, has long faced accusations of endemic corruption. FIFA’s past “President for Life,” Sepp Blatter, only recently fell from grace and is now facing criminal charges for mismanagement and misappropriation. But it’s not just the familiar FIFA names that are being accused of corruption....

Floridians may soon be hearing a Satanic prayer at a public meeting if one determined man from Deerfield Beach gets his way. Chaz Stevens, the same man behind Florida’s beer-can Festivus pole last holiday season, is now petitioning for a Satanic prayer at the next town council meeting – or even at a session of the Florida Senate, reports The Huffington Post. Does Stevens have a legal leg to stand on for his Satanic suggestion?...

Even the smallest of small businesses have social media policies these days. The platforms are far too public to abide by any gaffes, lest your rep be forever tarnished by the loose fingers of an unpaid intern. So it’s no surprise that government agencies have strict Twitter rules that require multiple layers of writing, proofing, editing, and approval before anyone even considers clicking “Tweet.” But, as anyone who’s kept an eye on the previous election can attest, that seems like about four or five more thoughts than President-elect Donald Trump gives before firing off his social media missives....

A homeowner unknowingly drove the getaway car for the man that burglarized his house. It was a pretty smooth trick played by the burglar – until he ended up caught. Papa Bear came home and saw Goldilocks sitting in his chair. Wait, no. That’s a different story … Crazy End to a Crazy Day for Tarbox and Homeowner The homeowner then called the police, who ended up piecing together the entire scenario....

Year-end sales don’t just happen in retail businesses. This year, at least, big business is also in the market. Broadcom wants to buy Qualcomm, and Hasbro is negotiating to get Mattel. So far, the would-be sellers have rejected the offers. But lawyers are working through the holidays and talking about how to say “no” between the lines. Qualcomm What they’re really saying is, “no, but let’s talk.” Qualcomm rejected Broadcom’s $103 billion takeover bid, saying it was too low....

Fujitsu Ltd. v. Netgear Inc., 10-1045, concerned a challenge to the district court’s grant of defendant’s motion for summary judgment of noninfringement, in a patent infringement suit related to patents that describe and claim a different aspect of wireless communication technologies. In affirming in part, the court held that the district court correctly granted summary judgment of noninfringement of the asserted claims of the ‘642 and ‘993 patents. Regarding the ‘952 patent, the court affirmed the district court’s grant of summary judgment of noninfringement for all products but for the four models for which plaintiff produced appropriate evidence of direct infringement....

The goal of most law firm associates is to make partner. But what about junior partner? Is that worth striving for too? Obviously in some ways junior partner is a worthy title if only because it’s the stepping stone to become a full or senior partner. For some, it may be a goal in itself. Part of the problem is that the terms ‘junior’ and ‘senior’ partner don’t necessarily have a standard across the legal industry....

Talk about a mean mom. A mother in New York has been banned from posting on her children’s Facebook pages. In fact, she can’t post about her children at all, on any social media site. The mother of three, identified only as “Melody M,” was posting comments to insult and demean her kids, reports The Huffington Post. Specifically, she called her 10-year-old son an obscenity beginning with the letter “a.” And she even defended her comment in court....

A Louisiana State University law student was pulled right outside Intellectual Property class on Wednesday and arrested by officers on accusations of forcible rape, reports LSU’s Daily Reveille. His bond has since been set at $100,000. The arrest came after the female victim reported to police that Abdellatif Devol had forced himself upon her at his apartment, after the two went out for drinks, and after she refused to have sexual intercourse....

There’s a new kind of candy on the market, and it’s just in time for Valentine’s Day. It’s called the peanut butter and chocolate burglar, and you only want to give it to the stalker you’re trying to scare away. Sound good? Well, you can’t have one. The original – and only – peanut butter and chocolate burglar is cooling off in a jail cell in Neon, Kentucky. Named Andrew Toothman, the questionable character was arrested last week after breaking into a local supermarket....

Defender’s appeal from judgment entered following his negotiated guilty plea to possessing methamphetamine and related offenses is dismissed as the notice of appeal was not timely filed and defendant’s constructive filing claim under Benoit is rejected. Read People v. Lyons, No. B212253 [PDF] Read People v. Lyons, No. B212253 [HTML] Filed November 5, 2009 Judges Opinion by Judge Yegan Counsel For Appellant: Jonathan B. Steiner, Executive Director and Richard B. Lennon, Staff Attorney...

In an appeal from a probate court’s determination that a petition plaintiffs proposed to file against defendant seeking information regarding his conduct as trustee of a trust would not violate the no contest provision of the trust agreement, the order is affirmed where the proposed petition did not seek to do more than enforce defendant’s nonwaivable fiduciary duty under Probate Code section 16060. Read Salter v. Lerner, No. A121525 Appellate Information...

The Senate is preparing to vote on three nominees to the D.C. Circuit Court of Appeals, with an anticipated fight between Democrats and Republicans over their confirmations. According to The Huffington Post, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) filed a cloture motion on Monday, setting the Senate to vote on Patricia Millet’s confirmation by the beginning of November. Where does each of the three nominees stand? An anonymous Senate Democratic aide told HuffPo that the White House and Senate Democrats are ready for “a big fight” over the D....

McDonald’s has won another battle in health-conscious San Francisco. A San Francisco Superior Court judge dismissed a McDonald’s lawsuit over Happy Meal toys on Wednesday. Plaintiffs in the class action lawsuit claimed that McDonald’s uses Happy Meal toys to attract children to the restaurants, and sued to stop the fast-food giant from handing out toys, reports Thomson Reuters News & Insight. The plaintiffs brought claims under the California Consumer Legal Remedies Act and the California Unfair Competition Law....

A tall is a small, a grande is a medium, a venti is a large – a trente is too much coffee and a short isn’t worth the bother. These are Starbucks truths that we all know. But when you’re ordering an iced two-pump no fat caramel latte, just how much ice is too much ice for your tall, grande, or venti? This we may never know, now that a federal judge has tossed a proposed class action accusing Starbucks of putting too much ice in their drinks....

Love kids? Love the law? Still a student yourself? Well, Street Law might be for you. Street Law is a long-running, grassroots legal education effort that sends law students into high schools, to teach practical legal lessons to the youth. The program helps give kids basic legal literacy (more than they’d get watching CSI, at least) on fundamental legal issues, from civil rights law, to criminal law, to employment law, while also helping law students develop their leadership skills and a commitment to public interest....

Rhonda Washington’s husband says she stabbed him over a Facebook dispute. She says the stabbing was an accident that happened while they were arguing over drug use. Both agree that the incident took place in the evening but the similarities end there. Washington says her husband was high on PCP and while the couple was fighting she accidentally stabbed him with her keys. He says that she got upset over his Facebook page and then started chasing him with a knife which she then stabbed him with....

Former USC defensive lineman Armond Armstead reached a settlement in his lawsuit against the school and a team doctor regarding the doctor’s use of the painkiller Toradol. Armstead claimed doctor James Tibone’s overuse of the drug led to a heart attack 2011. The terms of the settlement are confidential. A Potentially Lethal Drug Toradol is a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory painkiller with serious side effects if used continually. The extensive use of the drug in football came to light in Dan LeBatard’s piece on Jason Taylor in 2013....

Yesterday, we recounted five “classic” torts cases that 1Ls will surely see in the year ahead. Today, here are five classic criminal law cases to get you excited for murder and … well, basically murder. 1. R. v. Dudley and Stephens (Queen’s Bench, 1884). I like to call this one “cannibalism on the high seas,” a classic from English common law. Dudley, Stephens, Parker, and Brooks were shipwrecked and had run out of food....