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Fight Club (1999) Being clever has its price. An employee at The University of Alabama found that out the hard way after a dig at Auburn quarterback Cam Newton on Saturday. The Auburn-Alabama rivalry sparked some creativity on the part of the Alabama employee, who made a dig at the Cam Newton scandal. The creativity went a bit too far and got her fired. The employee, who was not named, was fired after playing songs like “Take the Money and Run” and “Son of a Preacher Man” while Cam Newton and the Auburn Tigers warmed up for their football game against Alabama....

When was the last time you heard someone declare “I became a lawyer so I could bill for doc review?” Sadly, there are few in this world that harbor romantic notions of how highlighting and redacting can achieve justice. Instead, most of us went into law school dreaming of how we could win a big case at trial. While it’s practically blasphemy to suggest that attorneys give up their few, glorious moments of courtroom drama, California alternative dispute resolution (California ADR) is an effective tool for securing a timely result for your client in a time of unprecedented state court budget cuts....

Why don’t the bad guys pick on someone their own size? Grown men cowardly steal from Girl Scouts selling cookies all too often. In New Hampshire, a troop of Girl Scouts were selling cookies in front of Walgreens when a thief grabbed their cash box and fled with the girls’ hard earned money. In California, a thief stole a cash box out of a Girl Scout’s hands. The most despicable incident of all occurred in Michigan....

Ever gone somewhere, like another country, and tried to adapt to a foreign culture? Maybe you had to learn a language, or at least a few phrases, to get around. The food, the dress, the music – everything that made it interesting also made it a challenge to fit in. That’s what it’s like when you enter a new law firm culture. You want to get along with your co-workers, and the last thing you want to be is a tourist....

Have you heard that there’s some hiring going on in Washington, D.C., these days? It’s true! The incoming administration may have the filled the attorney general’s spot, but there are plenty of government openings left in our nation’s capital, including roles in agencies like the Central Intelligence Agency and Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. And if serving under the Trump administration isn’t your idea of a cool job, we’ve even got a spot for you over on here on the Left Coast....

In a petition for review of a city’s grant of a conditional use permit to build a store and its environmental impact report (EIR) regarding the same, the denial of the petition is affirmed where: 1) the California Environmental Quality Act guidelines and the city’s municipal ordinances did not require the planning commission to review the EIR, as amended, and make a new recommendation to the city council before the city council could act; 2) Tracy First failed to exhaust its administrative remedies on its claim that the EIR included alternatives that did not reduce the environmental impacts its arguments fails on the merits that the EIR omitted a reduced store-size alternative; 3) plaintiff’s claim that the City failed to proceed in a manner required by the law is without merit; and 4) the city did not fail to proceed in the manner required when it found that the impact on extraterritorial intersections was significant and unavoidable....

In the government’s appeal from the Court of International Trade’s order classifying a plastic-coated fabric material as a “product with textile components in which man-made fibers predominate by weight over any other single textile fiber” under the Harmonized Tariff Schedule, the order is affirmed where that category encompasses products solely containing man-made fibers. Read the full decision in Value Vinyls, Inc. v. US, No. 2007-1562. Appellate Information: Appeal from the United States Court of International Trade in Case No....

Top of your law school class? On the fast track to making partner? Don’t expect us to be impressed. Real gunners become federal judges. Before they’re 40. Honestly, it shouldn’t be that hard. At least according to the Ninth Circuit’s resident conservative, porn aficionado, and cinephile, Judge Alex Kozinski. Kozinski, you may remember, was appointed to the Court of Federal Claims at the young age of 32. Follow his instructions and you could have the president calling you up for a spot on the federal courts, Kozinksi claims....

A porn star and another man left eight roosters, four guinea hens, four pigeons, a duck and four goats were amongst the trove of animals left in a van in Miami. The goats in the car were tied up in plastic bags. The car full of animals was left parked in a parking lot during the afternoon. One of the men is Raul Armenteros, 46, also known by his porn name “Ramon” in the “Bang Bus” porn series....

Late last year, at least one BigLaw firm announced that it was reconsidering the traditional training model for associates, at least in part. We were pretty keen on the idea of more training, less pay, and less billable hours. Earlier this week, a founding partner of a 100-attorney litigation boutique took to the blawgosphere to explain how his firm trains associates. Hint: it’s also a significant departure from the traditional BigLaw model....

“What do you call a thousand lawyers chained together at the bottom of the sea?” Answer: “A good start.” Har har har. Lawyers are just awful, aren’t they? At least you’d think so after watching these five movies, all of which make lawyers look pretty bad (and in one case, literally the devil). To be fair, this is the first in a two-part series (we’ll look at positive lawyer depictions tomorrow)....

Andrew Gallo, the man charged with the drunk-driving murder of Los Angeles Angels pitcher Nick Adenhart and two others back in April, pleaded not guilty to the counts in court today. The AP story recalled police suggestions that Gallo was at about three times the legal limit at the time of the accident, which occurred after Adenhart pitched in a game the same night. Gallo’s attorney indicated that he’d be trying to get the venue for the trial changed out of Orange County because he believes his client can’t get a fair trial there....

Look, we all have our own taste in music, and the Christmas creep is real. But surely playing some holiday tunes on Christmas Eve is something everyone can agree on, right? Well, everyone except Christopher Gamboeck, maybe. Gamboeck was none too pleased when a bartender turned down the Black Sabbath and turned up the Christmas music, and he let his displeasure be known with a flying beer bottle. Very bah humbug, dude....

Becoming a judge is no easy task. It requires building a name, making connections, and winning an election or appointment. But once you’ve made it, what a great gig it is. There’s the pantless defendants, the screaming lawyers, the endless petitions from pro se Sovereign Citizens, the baby splitting. But one Chicago lawyer recently got to test the role out in advance. Cook County Circuit Court Judge Valarie Turner allegedly let one of the court’s clerks, attorney Rhonda Crawford, sit on her bench, wear her robe, and preside over two cases....

People hate on lawyers for a lot of reasons, but the high fees are often the bottom line. When people call you a blood-sucker – and not in a Halloweenish way – it means you charge too much. And it’s not just about the money. In one North Carolina case, it’s about the fee and the clients. The attorneys want $400,000 from clients who didn’t understand what they were doing, a judge said....

Judge Paul G. Feinman will change New York’s highest court at a time when change is sometimes uncomfortable. Filling a vacancy created by the apparent suicide of his predecessor, Feinman will become the first openly gay member of the New York Court of Appeals. Gov. Andrew Cuomo nominated Feinman and sent his name to the state senate for confirmation. “He is a talented jurist who has dedicated his career to public service and standing up for a fairer and more just New York,” Cuomo said....

Trial court issuance of a protective order against defendant under the Elder Abuse and Dependent Adult Civil Protection Act is reversed where: 1) a protective order under the Elder Abuse Act may issue on the basis of evidence of past abuse, without any particularized showing that the wrongful acts will be continued or repeated; and 2) the trial court erred in basing its decision in issuing the protective order on counsel’s conduct rather than on substantial evidence....

When Nevada groom Justin Harris woke up on his wedding day, he had no idea that he would be facing charges for throwing his mom out of the church. Harris had invited his mother to the ceremony at Carson Valley United Methodist Church in Gardnerville, Nev. But he says that she arrived yelling and screaming, and was in complete objection to the pending nuptials. He then picked her up and removed her from the building....

In April, the Department of Labor finalized rules for financial advisors handling retirement accounts, requiring, for the first time, that broker-dealers and financial advisors act in the best interests of their clients. Choosing suitable investments will no longer be enough; there’s now a fiduciary duty to “put the customer first.” So, how are firms preparing for the change? With lawyers. Lots of lawyers. (And a bit of retraining on the side....

Corporate sustainability is a big deal these days, even if a lot of it is just a bunch of puffery. Nevertheless, companies want to be seen as sustainable, regardless of whether the only thing sustainable about their product is the recycled paper in the packaging. Even if you personally view corporate sustainability as some barely-less-than-a-sham attempt at greenwashing, the following sustainable practices are just fiscally smart, though the last one might just be a bit too green for most....