Did you know it is Limerick Day? Well, now you do. And in honor of said day, we present to all of you soon-to-be Greedy Associates a poem on what it’s like to be a brand-new attorney. At the law, he’s a bit of a knob. He passed tests like the rest of the slobs. Oh, why didn’t school Prepare this poor fool For actually doing his job? The hours, he bills by the ton, But his job is just not any fun!...
A dish fairy. A laundry fairy. A cleaning fairy. Most of us wouldn’t mind one or all three showing up at our home. But when they’re uninvited? Well, for the sake of your mess, you’ve got to put your foot down. Westlake resident Sherry Bush took this exact approach last weekend after encountering an Ohio cleaning fairy named Susan Warren. While Bush’s daughter was sleeping upstairs, Warren broke into her home....
In what certainly appears to be the best video ever released by a legal team, the brilliant minds over at Velcro are starting to go viral, at least in IP and trademark circles. Their song and music video, “Don’t Say Velcro” is nothing short of epic, and soon to be the anthem of every in-house trademark attorney. The brilliance of the song is that it accurately explains the dilemma that in-house lawyers at the most popular companies have to deal with: The never ending flow of cease and desist letters they have to send out due to trademark violations....
People tend to think in broad generalities and they can hardly be blamed for it. The public has its stereotypes about every profession, whether it be programmer, teacher, or doctor. As for lawyers, the stereotypes can be flattering at first, and a little annoying later on. Here are a few generalities about lawyers a lot of people can’t seem to shake. 1. We’re All Litigators: FALSE Thanks to Hollywood and popular media, there’s a myth out there that all lawyers who use their license make it a regular thing to walk into court and cross swords with opposing counsel....
Working at a big firm this summer? Congrats! Summer associate positions aren’t easy to come by. You’ve had to work hard to land the spot and you’ll work hard throughout it. But, it’s not like a summer associate position isn’t without its perks. Indeed, while you should treat the summer as a season-long interview, the firm will also be trying to sell itself to you. Good pay, good food, good work – or at least lots of work – are just some of the perks awaiting you....
Approximately one week ago, the ACLU filed a complaint against the engineers of the CIA’s notorious torture program on behalf of three men who claimed they were victimized by the CIA’s brutal interrogation techniques. It is believed to be the first legal suit that is directly related to the 2014 release of the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence Report regarding CIA torture of suspected terrorists. At over 500 pages with heavy and dense material, the report is imposing....
Anheuser-Busch has sued Major League Baseball Properties over the right to exclusive beer sponsorship. Anheuser-Busch, maker of Budweiser, alleges that the MLBP reneged on an agreement to re-up exclusive sponsorship rights. They allege that the MLBP has now backtracked and is demanding more money. Anheuser-Busch is a unit of Belgium-owned Anhueser-Busch InBev, NV, but has continued aggressively targeting America sports sponsorships. Anheuser-Busch is the official beer sponsor for 26 of the league’s 30 teams....
After what seems like the 200th round in the Apple v. Samsung litigation, we find ourselves asking: Why can’t we all just get along? Well, that day might have actually come. Both Apple and Samsung appealed the District Court for the Northern District of California’s orders refusing to seal confidential documents submitted in support of pre- and post-trial motions. The Federal Circuit Court of appeals agreed with their positions, and reversed and remanded the district court’s decision....
Army Spcialist Marc A. Hall wasn’t happy about his assignment to be redeployed to Iraq. So, he made up rap song lyrics to express not only how he felt but disdain for the Army’s “Stop-loss” military policy of keeping soldiers in service beyond their enlistment dates. Now, the rap song lyrics have landed the army specialist a in Fort Stewart, Georgia jail. According to the Associated Press, Spc. Marc A. Hall has been behind bars since last month on military charges of making threats, both in conversation with members of his infantry unit and in the lyrics to his song “Stop Loss....
A decision of the U.S. Court of Appeals for Veterans Claims’, denying a surviving spouse’s claim for dependency and indemnity compensation (DIC) from the Department of Veterans’ Affairs, is affirmed as the government’s interpretation of 38 U.S.C. section 1311(a)(2) is correct as it does not provide a stand-alone or independent basis for entitlement to DIC benefits. Read Barela v. Shinseki, No. 09-7002 Appellate Information Appeal from: United States Court of Appeals for Veterans Claims...
A Philadelphia-area couple was caught doing the nasty by a cadre of bicycle cops when the officers rode by to find the two mid-coitus in a public park. Richard McBride and Jennifer Harvey were stopped by a swarm of Upper Darby police officers on the baseball field of a neighborhood park. Officers confirmed that they were well past first base, reports Philadelphia’s WPVI-TV. Just to be clear, sex in public places is illegal in all 50 states and Washington, D....
A biting monkey known as an “escape artist” is on the loose again in Japan. While the case might be cause for chuckles, authorities say it is no laughing matter. The monkey, a macaque named Rakkii, or “Lucky,” terrorized central Japan last year and bit 120 people, the Associated Press reports. We recently covered the story of a person in Kansas City who stole a meerkat, but in that case, no one was injured and the meerkat was eventually returned....
Denial of a successful litigant’s request for attorney fees under Code of Civil Procedure section 1021.5 reversed Conservatorship of Whitley, S175855, concerned a challenge to the court of appeal’s denial of petitioner’s request for attorney fees following successful litigation involving a challenge to the transfer of her disabled brother into a community living arrangement. In reversing the judgment of the court of appeal, the court remanded the matter in concluding that a litigant’s personal non-pecuniary motives may not be used to disqualify that litigant from obtaining fees under Code of Civil Procedure section 1021....
I’m sick. I have a doctor’s appointment. My dog needs to go to the vet. A sinkhole ate my house. My grandmother died. These are all perfectly fine lies to tell your coworkers about why you’re not at work. But, I’ve been kidnapped? As we learned in The Big Lebowski, that’s where we draw a line in the sand, dude. When Beverly Brooks didn’t return to her nightshift as a nurse assistant following a break, a concerned coworker called her phone....
For most general counsel, the pot of gold is actually filled with stock. That’s what it looks like in a new report on general counsel pay trends anyway. According to Equilar, 62 percent of GC pay at the largest companies last year was delivered in stock. At tech companies, regardless of size, about 63 percent of the compensation was in stock. The trend confirms that the biggest paydays sometimes depend entirely on market value – the company’s, not the attorney’s....
Lawmakers in Hawaii are debating an exemption that currently allows undercover cops to have sex with prostitutes… during their official, professional investigations, of course. The law has received criticism from human trafficking experts, worried that it can unnecessarily “victimize sex workers,” reports The Associated Press. Many in law enforcement, however, argue that they need the legal protection to literally catch prostitutes in the act. So is it time to say “aloha” (as in “goodbye,” not hello) to sex with prostitutes?...
Former Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver Hines Ward’s DUI case has been resolved in court, but newly released police video of his arrest reveals the NFL free agent’s greatest fear: bad publicity. “Can I get out on bail or … this is going to be all in the newspapers though?” Hines Ward asks in the video, taken inside a police cruiser in July 2011 and obtained by the gossip website TMZ. “Only if you tell somebody,” an officer replies....
People all enjoy different things. Some people like to drive with the windows down while others like to listen to their radios loud. Some other people? They like to drive topless. But those who don’t stay abreast of the law may fear that topless driving could potentially rack up a few criminal violations. What’s the bottom line when it comes to going topless behind the wheel? Although it may not seem like a terribly great idea, it’s generally not a crime to drive with no clothes on at all, let alone topless....
Back in 2006, the North Coast Brewing Co. in Northern California’s Mendocino County released a beer by the name of Brother Thelonious. A nearly 10 percent trappist style ale that has won awards and made a name for itself. Despite the accolades the beer has earned, it was named for the famous jazz musician, Thelonious Monk, with the permission of his son, who administers the deceased jazz legend’s estate. As part of the consent to use Monk’s name, the brewery donated a portion of the proceeds to a charitable organization set up in Thelonious Monk’s name....
Judge Joseph W. Kirby is no King Solomon, but he knows how to split decisions. He granted name changes for six transgender adults, and denied name changes for three transgender children this year. But unlike King Solomon who won praise for his baby-splitting decision, Kirby has been sued. In Whitaker v. Kirby , parents sued the Ohio judge for allegedly discriminating against their transgender children by denying their requests for name changes....
