You get paid a lot of money to work at BigLaw. But what if you wanted to get paid a lot of money to not work at BigLaw?
If you’re going to fake a sick day, pick a day in the middle of the week. Friday or Monday sick days are far more suspicious.
Instead of calling in sick, you can leave early. Just after lunch is a good time. Walk around for a little bit, then just go home. For bonus points, leave a coat or sweater on your chair, and take the stairs down a few flights before you catch the elevator.
The more details, the more suspicious your excuse can sound. Sicknesses such as migraine headaches or stomach illness are good choices. “If your house burned down, that’s going to be on the news, or if you say someone was murdered at the house next door to yours, that’s going to be on the news … You have to be somewhat intelligent about this,” says Kerry Speckman, author of The Hooky Book: More than 200 Excuses for Rolling in Late, Skipping Out Early and Scamming a Whole Day Off.
If you’re well enough to spend the day on Facebook and Twitter, perhaps you were also well enough to go to work.
Coming back from a sick day with a tan is an amateur move. You’re supposed to look pasty, not like The Situation. If you go outside, use plenty of sunscreen and wear a hat.
When you return to BigLaw, don’t act fidgety or abnormal. Don’t bring up your sick day, just continue as if everything was normal.
Related Resources:
- Food Poisoning: How Does Food Become Contaminated? (FindLaw)
- Swine Flu, Sick Days and Food Service (Chicago Public Radio)
- Mandatory Paid Sick Leave Coming Soon? (FindLaw Free Enterprise Blog)
Mandatory Paid Sick Leave Coming Soon? (FindLaw Free Enterprise Blog)
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