A vampire epidemic is spreading across this country, touching courts from coast to coast.

People are blaming vampires and vampire-related TV and movies for a lot of ridiculous behavior in this country.

HBO’s True Blood may well be to blame for the biting of a 3-year-old boy on the neck. And for an Arizona “vampire” sentenced to three years of probation for stabbing his roommate after he refused him his blood.

Is your firm ready to get involved in vampire litigation? Take the case of Wisconsin’s Mark Adams. He was babysitting and watching True Blood with a toddler when he felt it was time to “goof around,” “wrestle,” and “nuzzle” with the boy, reports The Smoking Gun.

And then it occurred to him to bite the child–three times on the neck. Adams pled guilty to felony child abuse, earning him 30 days behind bars and 3 years of probation.

They were furious when he denied them life’s elixir at second request. Homer then stabbed his roommate in the arm. The roommate then went running down the block, reports the Phoenix New Times. He left a delicious trail of blood in his wake.

Nearby firefighters followed the trail of blood to the Arizona vampire couple, covered in wasted blood. But they couldn’t get their story straight. There were tales of self-defense, but according to KPHO, police were skeptical.

The two finally decided that they were defending their religion.

That’s right. They stabbed the roommate because he was making fun of their religion.

How about vampire patent litigation? A company called Blood Concept will bring blood type perfume to the market in September, with each of the four metallic, earthy scents representing a unique blood type.

Related Resources:

  • Baby sitter gets 30 days in jail for so-called “vampire” attack (WITI-TV)
  • Arizona ‘Vampire’ Stabs Roommate for Not Letting Him Suck Blood (FindLaw’s Legally Weird)
  • ‘Twilight’ Fan Charged: Lied about Bite Marks (FindLaw Blotter)

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